(绳艺束缚天下

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通常，M-girl的精神意志是很不稳定的，她对男人有一种强烈的依附感，她渴望自己的灵魂和肉体同被禁锢束缚，但是如果她觉得不能获得自己所期待的那种被保护的感觉时，便会离开那个男的了。因为她已经无视其曾经为伴侣了，她的薄弱的意志不可能去思考其他的事情－－多么自私的一幕啊！
就象有时听说的，在绳艺束缚之中S方是提供服务的，而M方才是真正的得到满足的,其实是m方在真正控制著游戏全局。而且，S方还必须掌握m-girl的精神上受虐倾向，并且乐于赐予她充分的安全感。”{皮之不存，毛将焉附，失去了被支配的一方后，控制方也无法存在了。所以若是m-girl离开的话，作为支配者的他将会非常沮丧。
另一方面，一个男人之所以会成为施虐者，就象 Ehrlich Fromm 在他的书 《The art of loving》 里讲到的”{往往是一个不够成熟的带一点孩子气的男子，所以在性行为之中特别地强调自我的完全统治地位，也就成了所谓的唐璜。再更极端一点的话，便是施虐了。”{这样的施虐者，也是一种自私的人。
很明显这样的自私的施受双方必将导致麻烦的发生。只允许女方的自私自利看起来很不公平，但这是必然的－－除非现在的基于男性生理优势的社会结构改变。所以，对于绳艺束缚中的支配方男性的要求，要比对于受虐的女方的要求更高。
在S/M之中经常出现的问题之中，因为控制方的自私引起 m-girl的不满的，要比由于m-girl的自私引起的问题更多。一个能够真正令m-girl满足的控制者，往往会比她的年龄大得多。

Generally speaking the mind of a m-girl is unstable and she is intensely absorbed in the man. She offers her mind and body to the man to be bound, but when she can’t obtain the protection she expects she leaves the man. Such a selfish figure emerges. There, the volition or the mental strength to understand the man as a partner are not felt, either. Her mind seems to be so unstable that she can’t afford to think about such kind of things.
As is often said that the s of s/m is service and m of s/m is manzoku(Japanese word for satisfaction), the sadist side serves the selfish m-girl in fact. Furthermore the sadistic side must understand female m-tendency sensuously, and must accept it as a comfortable thing, and must give her sufficient protection. And the side to govern has difficulty to live without the side to be governed, so when the m-girl leaves him he is very depressed.
As for another factor a man becomes sadistic, Ehrlich Fromm wrote in his book “The art of loving” that “the man of weak masculine character due to childish emotion tries to compensate it chiefly by emphasizing his masculine role in a sexual field. Consequently, he becomes the so-called Don Juan. If the stagnation of manliness becomes more extreme, sadi绳艺束缚 serves as substitute of it”. Such sadi绳艺束缚 is itself selfish sadi绳艺束缚.
It is clear that selfish sadi绳艺束缚 cannot accept selfish masochi绳艺束缚. It will be dealt with as a troublesome person in the world of s/m. It may seem to be unfair that only female selfishness is allowed, but it is inevitable unless the social and sexual structure of man and woman change. So, human growth is demanded on the sadistic male side more than on the masochistic female side.
A problem often arises in the world of s/m, because the sadistic male is selfish and the demand of the m-girl cannot be met in many cases rather than because the m-girl is selfish. The sadistic man who can accept a m-girl are usually high up in age from the m-girl.